The 5 Key Ingredients to Creating a Conscious Relationship.

Young couple gazing at each other

The 5 Key Ingredients to Creating a Conscious Relationship.

A conscious relationship is one that uses the container of relationship to access both individual’s capacity for personal wholeness, fulfillment, and evolution.

Simply put:  Conscious relationship is a path of self-realization.

Creating a thriving conscious relationship requires us to bring our most valuable gifts to the table.  When I say ‘valuable gifts’ I’m not talking about a fancy car or a diamond ring; I am talking about our gifts of responsibility, vulnerability, listening, trust, and commitment.  These are the key ingredients that create, and sustain a deeply fulfilling conscious relationship.

Responsibility is the willingness to take ownership over any “baggage” that we bring to our relationships.  Most of our core wounds, fears, and traumas develop as a child within our relationship to our primary care givers.  A relationship works when each participant has the self-awareness to take a deep look within themselves.  And, choose to be real about how their life experiences as a child often shape how they respond to life as an adult.  When we choose to let go of the blame game, and start to take responsibility for our contribution to arguments and misunderstandings, we create an opening for love and transformation to occur.

Vulnerability is the courage to open so that we may be seen, all the way.  How can someone truly love us if we don’t allow them to see the fullness of who we really are? Vulnerability is about loving ourselves enough to share with our partner our full selves, even the parts that we think are unlovable.  When we give the gift of vulnerability to our partner, we are opening the space for them to share their vulnerability with us as well.  It is only then that we can love them for who they truly are, which is the greatest gift we could ever give.

Listening is the gift of our full presence, with an open heart and without judgment or fixing.  We live in a very solution oriented society; if there is a problem, we often attempt to fix it!  However, our emotional experiences are not problems, they are simply experiences.  Therefore, we suggest listening to your partner’s experiences without trying to fix them.  We each have a deep need to be heard, seen, and understood.  When our partner comes to us with a vulnerable share, we can thank them for being vulnerable, and make sure they know that we have heard them, and that we love them unconditionally.

To Trust means to believe in the value of your partner’s word and the integrity of their character.  And, when we are mistrusting others, it’s usually a reflection of the mistrust of ourselves.  A conscious relationship requires us to clean up our integrity, and fulfill on what we say we will do and be (in all of our relationships).  If we are trustworthy and in integrity, we will likely trust our partner to show up in this way as well.  If there is nothing on your phone/computer that you wouldn’t want your partner to see, then you probably won’t find yourself tempted to go snooping in theirs.

Commitment is the full choice to be in the cauldron of transformation with your partner. Relationship will stir stuff up; it will make you look deeply at yourself; and it will ask you to evolve.  There will be moments of bliss, and moments of being at your edge and wanting to run.  Are you up for it?  Sustaining a conscious relationship requires that BOTH participants choose it fully.  I believe there is no shame in choosing to end a relationship when you find that you are both growing in different directions.  In order to receive all the teachings and beauty a relationship has to offer, you must fully commit to being in it with your whole self, for the time that you are both choosing it.

A conscious relationship is journey, not a destination. It requires constant loving energy, and the consistent practice of these ‘ingredients’ to maintain the strength and integrity of the transformative bond between you and your partner.

And it’s worth it!


To deepen the application of these ‘ingredients’ in your life, choose a different one as your personal intention each day, and witness your relationships thrive

For More Inspiration on Creating a Conscious Relationship, Check out my Conscious Love 101-Free Online Course.

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