Do you ever find yourself loathing over your partner’s flaws? Most of us do, at least on occasion. While our own blind spots are hard to notice, our partner’s blind spots are loud and clear. When we look deeper, we see that what annoys us about our partner, is often what annoys us about ourselves. This process of externalizing our unconscious thoughts and feeling about ourselves in called projection. Focusing on the flaws of our partner is the perfect way to avoid focusing on the lack of love and compassion we have for ourselves.
SO WHAT CAN WE DO TO DEVELOP MORE LOVE AND COMPASSION FOR OURSELVES AND OUR PARTNER?
1. Make a list of all the things your judge your partner for.
(For example: You are not living your life purpose.)
2. Are you subconsciously judging yourself for the same things? Try changing the pronoun from ‘you’ to ‘I’ for each judgment. Try this new statement on. Then take an honest look to see if there is any truth to it.
(For example: I am not living my life purpose)
3. How does if feel to be present to this ‘self-judgment’? Take a deep breath and be gentle with yourself, as if you were a parent holding a small child. Now look at yourself through the eyes of your ‘parent-self’, holding your ‘child-self’ and ask, ‘What can I acknowledge myself for’?
(For example: When I am present to the fact that I am not living my life purpose, I feel small, worthless, and embarrassed. I can acknowledge myself for being committed to the path of self realization and for being of service in many ways.)
4. What can you acknowledge your partner for?
(For example: I can acknowledge my partner for showing up in so many ways for our relationship and in service to humanity, and for living their life purpose in subtle ways each and every day)
http://firstname.lastname@example.org://email@example.com 17:28:332016-07-01 18:31:08Judgement Day